Can I tell you something? There is something I want you to know.... No matter how much you like the guy, or how much you think the future together would be a beautiful, bright one– if he's adding stress, sadness, or anxiety to your life that wasn't there before, it's time to think twice....
I have this plant in my room that had a lot of ripped and tattered leaves. It was like that when I bought it. Whenever I watered my plant, I would notice the many ugly, broken leaves, and think, well, it is what it is.... and hey, it's not so bad. These are the biggest leaves on this plant so it's what makes the plant look full and green, anyway. How could I get rid of them.
For awhile, I accepted these sliced up leaves. It never crossed my mind to remove them.
But one day as I was watering my plant, it was like an inspiration struck me. I thought, what if I did cut off these leaves? What would happen if I just snipped them all off?
The truth was I was tired of looking at broken leaves. I was tired of passing by my plant each day and seeing the half-leaves, sliced up plant flesh. It didn't exactly make me sad, but it also didn't make me happy. It was doing a half-job as a plant. Plants should always make us happy.
So in my inspiration (and rush of hope that new and better fronds would come), I did the deed and cut away all the tattered leaves. I cut them right at the base. It was almost like they had never existed. My plant was now a little sparse, but it was clean.
And I was much happier with that.
To my surprise, just a few days later, there were all these little sprouts popping up out of nowhere! Wow. They were more than I could count. It's like those big chopped up leaves were the only thing holding back these fresh new leaves from sprouting. Sometimes only when you remove the bad can there be room for the good.
I still look at my plant today and am in awe at the life lesson it has taught me....
Sometimes, we do the same thing with relationships. The idea of it looks nice and lush and fruitful from afar, but as we get closer, we notice how broken it is. How the relationship is bringing us imbalance, pain, anxiety.
Despite the hard situation, we take a step back and try to look at the relationship logically. We tilt our head from one side to another as we take a look at it, trying to convince ourselves: It's not that bad... it will get better... besides, I don't see how there can be anyone better, he's the best one so far, no one has made me feel this way........
We talk ourselves into staying– into settling.
And as we settle, and give the relationship chance after chance after chance, we get more and more hurt. We come to a point when we realize life is not enjoyable anymore. With every day, every moment of anxious suspense, every disappointment, our heart gets more and more wounded.
We are no longer living in peace but surviving from moment of pain, to moment of hope, and back to moment of pain.
I hope that one day, you will gain that courage to believe that there is better out there for you. I hope that you have the trust in God to take that leap of faith and choose not to settle. I pray that God will give you the strength to realize that (even though it doesn't seem like it now), He has better for you. I pray that in reading this today, you will know that as soon as you truly and trustfully let go, God will rush in and show you the better He has in store for you.
It's funny how only when we truly let go does God have the space to bring better in.
I know it's hard, and I know it takes a lot of courage.
I want to learn to let go more. When I let go of things that hurt me (as desirable as they may seem), I am trusting that God has better. I am saying to God in a very real way that I believe in His superabundance, that He has better for me. I am not living out of scarcity, but am claiming the truth that God has more for me. He always has more...
Cutting a broken stem is the belief that tomorrow a better one will grow. Letting go of a relationship that's hurting us is the belief that a better one is on its way. With every no, we are saying yes to something even better.
"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'"
Sending you lots of love,