I want an arranged marriage.




Yes, you read that title right :). I've decided that I want an arranged marriage.


If I'm going to get married, I want for God to have a chat with my husband, have a chat with me, and for the Holy Spirit to literally arrange our marriage.


I think there are a lot of great men out there. A lot of good, holy men who are striving to live out God's will in their lives. I used to think there was a shortage of these men, but I've recently been shown that they are out there!


But that really doesn't matter to me anymore when it comes to dating. I used to pray that God send me "a good husband." But I've been growing to realize that I don't want just a 'good husband.' I want God to send me my husband. The man He has planned for me.


A priest I really love once said in a talk, "You don't want any marriage. You want a match made in heaven! Ask God to match you." He's also the same priest who said something along the lines of, "We are living a time of spiritual battle. If you're single and following God, that's great. But if you get married, then there's two, and you're basically upgrading from a Jeep to a Humvee." I really liked that image. I know I could only live out that "upgrade" if it's literally God who makes it for me, not just something I reach out to grab because I want it.


My good friend Cindy, who is the blogger of The Veil of Chastity, has this theory. You know those times when you meet someone and he's wonderful, but for some reason, he does not quite follow through? Maybe he shows interest-- a lot of interest, even-- but somehow he is not doing anything substantial about it like asking you out on a date, or truly pursuing you in not just words but also deeds. Well, the theory that Cindy has about that is that each of us women have a veil.


Yes, each of us women have a this invisible veil that prevents every man from truly seeing us, unless it is the right man for us. That's why when you meet guys who text you, talk to you at parties, but who never make a move to actually pursue you.... it's because they can't actually see you. You have this veil given to you by God that is there so that only the right man can see you. Only your Holy Spouse can lift that veil and enter that intimacy and friendship with you.


I think this is the most beautiful explanation because it takes away a lot of the confusion out of the sad times when you meet someone who seems awesome but who never follows through. How many times has this happened:


Me: "I just met the most amazing guy!!"

Me (two weeks later): "Nevermind."


Things just fall apart and die a natural death when he's not the one. And the ending is a lot faster and less painful if we women don't fall into the habit that a lot of us have, and that is to chase men (embarrassing to say, but I've been guilty of this, too).


I've learned a lot from Cindy's theory, and that is to stay in place.


Yes, I've learned to simply stay in place during times when I think, oh, I really like this guy but why isn't he reaching out? Maybe he just needs a little encouragement, I should text him first.


No. Men do not need any help in pursuing a woman. Sure, it can be scary for them, but that's all part of it.


You are worthy of a man taking the risk of taking the first step, initiating things, and asking you out. You are worthy of a man putting his heart on the line to pursue you. There is nothing you need to do to 'help' the right man, and nothing you need to do to convince him that he should pursue you. If you're doing that, then you're chasing a man, and that never ends well :(.


Something that Cindy has said (that I really liked and thought was interesting) is that when you text a man, it translates to the message, "Don't forget about me!"


When we initiate texting men, we are putting ourselves in a vulnerable position and communicating to the guy that we think we are forgettable, which is not really a great message to send. And then when he doesn't reply right away, that puts us in a spiral of anxiety.... I think we've all been there at some point.


As women, our only job in the dating world is to receive the good things that God wants to give us through the men who initiate and pursue us. The only thing we need to do to encourage men who may be pursuing us, is to receive him with our smile and eye contact. That's it.


Isn't that a much simpler way to live when it comes to dating? I think so.


So if your love life is not panning out the way you want, be at peace. God is doing much more to protect you than you think. He's covered you with a veil and made you invisible, until the right man comes along.


I don't know what will happen with my life. I don't know if marriage is in God's plan for me. But if it is, I renew my surrender again today to put the choice of who my husband is in God's hands. I ask God to arrange my marriage..... God who gives us far more than we can ask for, and far better than we can imagine.... Truly!


Sending you lots of love,

Stephanie





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